Everyone wants to say men are doing as much as women in the home now, but that’s not COMPLETELY accurate. Many times it’s no fault to the men either! Think of how many times the kids have walked RIGHT past dad and headed to the bathroom where mom was taking a shower to ask her for a snack. It happens all the time. That being said, it’s very hard for working women to find a solid life balance. We feel torn between kids school functions and radio remotes. How do we navigate this so we don’t have the stigma of not being a “team player.”
I got into radio YEARS before I had kids. For a long time, radio was life. I did everything I could to learn as much as possible! I was on 3 different stations (morning show, middays, and nights), doing commercial trafficking, and helping with promotions. This was all at the same time! I would go to my grandma’s house a couple minutes from the station and take a half hour nap in the middle of the day and go right back to work. I wanted to be unexpendable. I wanted to be the person they said “no way can we cut her. She’s too useful.” I ended up becoming the production director for two companies and hosting #1 shows. I worked my butt off to get those.
Fast forward 14 years and here comes the first baby! This changed everything. I wanted to be there for my kiddo. I wanted to be the mom who could do the class parties and field trips. Being in radio where remotes could happen at any moment and concert appearances are a must, I knew this would be difficult.
One reason is, and this is not a shot at men, but a lot of the higher ups are men. They don’t all understand the need for a mom to be there for a child. “Can’t you just get a babysitter?” So you want me to pay for a baby sitter for an event I’m not even paid to be at? This was a constant issue after having kids. The guys didn’t really have to deal with that. Many moms in radio and I would talk to try to find a way for everything to work out. Unless you have an understanding manager, this is incredibly difficult and stressful to deal with. Being a woman in this industry can be difficult. Being a mom in this industry can be stressful.
How do you manage this? For me, I went part time. My kiddos came first. At the time, my direct manager understood. He had been in the industry for decades and he was a dad. He knew how badly I wanted to have kids. Hell, at one point, our nanny was a no show a couple days in a row so I brought my sleeping baby into the studio to do a morning show and we made it part of the show! It was great! He was incredibly compassionate. My next PD was a single dad and knew how important it was for me to be present in my kids’ lives. My GM, on the other hand, pretended to understand, but came down on my manager if I wasn’t at the unpaid concert event and instead at my child’s school activity. I was also my kid’s soccer coach and if I didn’t attend a parade because we had a game that morning, my manager heard all about it and felt the wrath of it. Thank goodness for my co-host and direct manager, though! Both men, mind you, so like I said before, not all male managers are the same. When I had my first baby I was fortunate to have a PD and cohost who really worked with me to help find a good work/life structure. When I switched stations, again, I was blessed to have a PD and co-host who were very understanding. There are some, though, that expect you to be at the event, no matter what.
I completely understand radio is an industry where you are expected to be at the parades and concerts and remotes. You are expected to be the face of radio, especially if you were the morning show, which I was. I knew this was part of the job. I knew this was all outlined in my contract. I knew this was the gig. I also knew I had two babies at home who wanted their mom. Being torn between the career I worked SO HARD for, and those two pieces of my heart, was unbearable.
I incorporated stories of my sons on air. I never told anything TOO personal, but I did discuss events other families could relate to. And it helped the show a lot! We had many moms call in asking about the kids. My mom even had someone come up to her at the gym and ask about her grandbabies! (that was kinda weird but that’s another topic) If I wasn’t at an event, people would ask my cohost if I was at one of the boy’s games. They KNEW and understood. The listeners knew if I wasn’t there, it’s because I was involved in my kids’ activities. I would even say something on air about it “Oh I WISH I could be there for the parade! But my kiddo has a soccer game and I coach so it would be kinda hard for them to play without me.” They’d call Monday asking if they won. I invited the listeners to be part of that with me.
Sometimes that works! Sometimes, others still see you as not being a team player. My advice? I hate to say it, but I really don’t have any. It’s up to management to find a common ground for everyone. If you value your employee, and you know they’ve been monumental in the success of the station, isn’t it worth it to come to a compromise for everyone?